Next week lectures will end, finals will be upon me, and I will have completed the first semester of my MA program in Classics. I’m not sure how I feel about that yet. The past couple of months were filled with mixed experiences and some disappointments for me.
I am a first generation university student and for a few weeks it seemed unreal that I am actually here, in grad school, doing my MA, and preparing to do my PhD in a couple of years from now. Academically, the first few weeks were the hardest. It took me a while to adjust and figure out how to deal with the increased work-load. Eventually I developed a routine and figured out how to schedule and utilize my time.
Personally, finances were a major problem. As an international student I face higher tuition fees and the newly introduced additional fees (e.g. the campus renewal fee) but the baseline funding I receive apparently has not changed in a quite some time. While my baseline funding covers my tuition fees, I need to work a lot to cover my costs of living. Even though I work as an RA in my department and as a Student Assistant at the Internationalization Office (IO), it is still such a struggle to make ends meet. After all, there’s only so many hours that I can work without it interfering with my studies. Maybe things would be different if there had been enough funding available so that I could have gotten a GA position at the IO instead of just the Student Assistant position for the undergraduate pay rate, I don’t know. As it is I cannot make ends meet on my own and I have to rely on my parents to help me pay for my living costs. I felt like such a failure when I realized that I could not support myself. I even went to an information session about money management for graduate students which was organized by SGS to figure out if I could do anything differently and improve my budgeting skills. But the bottom line is, if you’re making, say, $100, there’s no way that you’re going to pay $200 worth of bills with it. Although MUN’s tuition is cheap, living in the city, especially if you are trying to eat healthy, is not. And so, after experiencing crippling anxiety when I could not work enough to support myself (at least not without neglecting my academic performance) I had to ask my parents for help. On the plus side, I learned from this experience that it’s okay to ask for help if you need it. Luckily, both my parents and my department support me in any way possible.
On a more positive note, participating in the Teaching Assistant Training Program was probably the best experience I had so far. I was hesitant about doing the training at first because it seemed to be more about Teaching Assistantships in Science and Engineering but it actually answered so many questions I had about becoming a TA. It is so great to get opportunities like this which are applicable to all faculties. The training really prepared new grad students for future TA positions and explained the duties and responsibilities of a TA and I really hope that I will have the opportunity to apply what I learned in a future TA position. Not only was this training really interesting and helpful but it also brought grad students from all disciplines together. It was great to meet other new grad students and hear about their fields of study. However, meeting other people also made one thing abundantly clear: about 99% of people have no idea what Classics is. When I say that I’m studying Classics people usually think that I’m either studying Shakespeare or classical music. Wrong! I’m studying Ancient Greek and Roman history and culture. Studying a discipline which does not provide you with a definite job title is rather challenging in a way. If you are studying Engineering people know that you will become an Engineer, whereas when you are studying Classics people usually look at you wide-eyed and confused. When you explain to them what you are studying they are still confused and have no idea what I will do with a degree in Classics. Many people actually made rather hurtful “jokes” about how I am studying to become unemployed. What people do not realize about Classics, and Humanities degrees in general, is that there is so much you can do with your degree. It is true that a Classics degree does not give you a specific job title like Engineering would but it’s all about where you take your degree. My career goals are different from my friends’ goals but that is okay. However, I realized that you need a certain level of self-assurance as a student especially if you are pursuing a career goal that might seem unusual or even unrealistic to some people. Sometimes you just have to go for it and believe in yourself to get to where you want to be and it will work out.
Until next time…
~Marina