You can take the ecologist out of the field but she’ll long to be there

Hi All,

You can take the ecologist out of the field but she’ll long to be there. For the past five years, when the growing season arrives I’ve packed up my backpack and have headed out to the field to spend the summer working on ecological studies.  This summer has been dedicated to thesis writing though. While it is exciting to be at this point of my Masters where the end goal of my past two years is in sight, there are definitely days where I get distracted and reminisce about field work adventures.

Writing your dissertation can be intimidating, as a graduate student you have dedicated years to your research and you want the end project to represent the amount of meticulous work you have done. I think it is important to have conversations surrounding the struggles of writing and share strategies on how to overcome writing obstacles (e.g. perfectionisms, imposter syndrome, isolation). However, I do believe that the culture surrounding how we, as graduate students, talk about writing is not helping us reach the finish line. As I reflect on how I communicate about the writing process I can’t think of a conversation where writing was associated with positivity. There is a norm of expressing disappointment of what wasn’t accomplished in a day instead of communicating the successes. I think this negativity promotes the idea that you need unhealthy and unachievable writing habits and goals to finish your dissertation. How can you feel satisfied with the work you’ve achieved, when it feels like you need to be physically writing the entire day to be able to call the day a success? How do you avoid getting in a feedback loop of constantly trying to overcome the feeling of being behind? I got up to go for a walk, while in the process of writing this post, and ran into a friend and as if on cue he’s response to “how’s it going” was “I haven’t been as productive as what I should have been”.  Instead of asking about why he thought he wasn’t achieving his goals and having a productive conversation, I nodded along and responded by sharing my own feelings of disappointment with what I achieved this week, furthering the norm of negativity.

When I think about my own work habits, I definitely could be a more efficient writer and some days I struggle with procrastination than others but I also know that I am a much more productive writer now than I was during my undergrad and that I am proud of. So despite not being as far along in writing my dissertation than what I had hoped, I am proud of the work I have achieved. I am going to continue to try to leave behind the self-doubt and perfectionist tendencies and take dissertation writing as a way to better skills not as a chore that would rather be avoided.

This all being said, I did manage to make it out to the field this June. So I guess you can’t take the ecologist out of the field? I went to check-on my field experiments and to collect some data off data loggers that measure various abiotic variables. While a June snowfall did manage to throw us off our schedule a bit (Newfoundland weather is always there to surprise you!), the trip was very productive. Against expectations winter seedling survival was really high and I was there in time to see the newly emerging needles (so cute!). People who aren’t plant enthusiasts probably won’t understand my excitement but I had to share some photos of them!

Til next time,

Anna