I owe everything that I have done in my academic life to three things: first, my relentless and persistent resoluteness that frequently stems from the spite of the tough times, the nay-sayers, and the heartaches I have ever felt; second, my yearning to broaden my horizon to something bigger than myself; and third, the stunning sheer awe I felt after I watched Legally Blonde for the first time.
The very first job I can ever remember wanting to do was to study law and be a lawyer. But honestly, I wanted to be just like Elle Woods. Sharp, witty, passionate, and never letting anyone put limitations on who you are. Now call it my overly self aware brain and my other passion that came into my life shortly after, Sociology. Needless to say I gently placed that ambition securely within my heart and let it remain to guide me on who I am and what I see in the world that I want to bring awareness to. It was only the
other day that I was walking through campus that scenes from Legally Blonde came to my mind, and the raw and in depth emotional scenes within the film that still influence me in many things I do and try.
Perhaps it’s only after becoming a graduate student and undergoing its unique experiences that I began to notice the similarities between Elle Woods’ journey in the film and the universal aspects of life beyond academia. Every time I watch the scene where Elle triumphantly scores a 179 on her LSATS, I cheer for her. I then think of the day I found out I was accepted into grad school, after my third time applying and working and scrutinizing over my proposed research. Only then when I think of this, do I really know how Elle Woods must have felt achieving something so monumental to a person’s life. Every time I experience the scene in which Elle realizes the supposed love of her life still rejects and demeans her after getting into Harvard Law School, I feel the anger for her and cry with her. Because I think deep down no matter how stoic or stoney we can be, everyone has gone through rejection and in many ways, let it affect a part of them for a long time. And most of all, when I experience the scene where Elle confides in Paulette at the salon, breaking down for thinking she wasted her time going to Harvard for perhaps the wrong reasons at first, and then her law professor chirps up this remark:
“If you’re going to let one stupid prick ruin your life, then you’re not the girl I thought you were.”
I stop and stare at the screen in silence and awe too.
Because I’ve been there. I’ve had that breakdown. And I have let a stupid prick or two ruin my life for a while. The relationship between academia and balancing a life is a strenuous and puzzling one to say the least. On one hand, you’re a well educated, driven, and curious alumna who seeks higher knowledge and the certification that one day she can be respected and trusted in whatever she finds passionate in the world; on the other hand, you’re also a woman who also comes home to heartbreak, and exhaustion, and stress, and critique for everything you choose to say and do under the lens of a world that is male dominated, cruel, and unrelenting. While I can never explain the sheer withering this takes on the soul, every time I hear that quote from that movie, I unlock a part of potential that I never knew was there or could muster up the strength to hold onto. Elle Woods was not at first successful with her law classes.
She struggled time and time again to figure out what worked for her to shine, and no matter how academically gifted someone may be, we all know what this feels like in a seminar or lecture. You leave the class shortly after and you feel like you made a fool of yourself or belittle yourself for not being better at this. But this is fleeting, and just like Elle, you will slowly show your unique ways to critique, solve, and shine like the brilliant person you are.
Elle Woods taught me that a woman especially, in academia, is a beautiful, powerful, and unstoppable wave. The strength it can take to face unrelenting hell in some parts of your life, to sit with the days that hurt, and yet still somehow work through your academic world is so awing. On the days where I am all of this, I think of this film. I think of her wit and her ability to do it for herself. I am reminded of what it means to be all you can be to show yourself that it’s possible, and not solely for others. Sometimes we may do things for the wrong reason, but eventually we will be reminded of the right ones.
Legally Blonde defined a generation of young women not only looking to be lawyers or to climb the judicial ladder, it defined and said it boldly, that a woman can be a total encompassment of a frillish doily and still will always deserve and command the respect and admiration from the people in her life. It has to this day served as a reminder that while some days you may struggle with embracing femininity or feel the need to sacrifice it to be taken seriously in life, don’t dare think that you cannot have
these two things and more. We are complicated and capable people. And no stoic or stoney institution, dean, professor, or board of directors can tell us otherwise.
Be brave enough to make mistakes in academia and in life. Be vulnerable enough to confide in those you experience life similar and dissimilar to. Be vigilant in taking advantage of opportunities in life, and never apologize for being who you are. Be self aware enough to never let someone discredit you or your hard work and demerit you to a person or gross stereotype that you aren’t.
And then the scene that makes me smile and weep more than anything, Elle giving her commencement speech to her graduating class.
“It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world, remembering that first impressions are not always correct. You must always have faith in people. And most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself.”
Let me say for certain that, for all of us grad students, how poignant and cardinal this commencing phrase really is for us. How I know you all can and do relate in big and small ways, to Elle Woods. No matter the dithering glances and words we may hear in our journey to achieve our statuses, our achievements, that with courage and conviction we will dust ourselves off and continue to prove ourselves, and hopefully others along the way, the breadth and depth of our stubborn and steadfast nature.
Most importantly, don’t ever allow yourself to let a stupid prick ruin your life. 🎓💖