Imposter syndrome affects everyone. We fear we know little about what we are passionate about, devalue our knowledge, and believe we are worth less than others. For myself, I became recluse and scared to participate in anything. My imposter voice told me to keep quiet, and I isolated myself. I want to share with new graduates, whether new to a master’s program or new to a PhD program, how I challenge my imposter syndrome every day which has helped me immensely, starting doctoral studies.
I was eager to start global development studies and bring my environmental studies knowledge to my research, but my transition was bumpy. Classes were all discussion-based and I was overloaded with teaching assistantships. Besides learning new material, listening to my classmates made me feel less and less confident in my analyses. In addition, I was expected to assist students’ learning experience. Confidence in my ability and knowledge dwindled, and I increasingly feared I was pretending in front of students. I felt unworthy to teach them, to help them. My imposter syndrome led to a very isolated graduate life. I took break after receiving my MA and struggled with accepting my accomplishment.
Yet here I am! Only a year break and back for my first semester of doctoral studies! Transdisciplinary Sustainability opened admissions in July 2020 – my dream program since completing my bachelor’s at Grenfell. My imposter voice came back, scolding me how I pretended to be a smart graduate student and TA. I fought with those cruel thoughts for days, building courage to apply. It was not easy, and it is still a struggle.
I am two months into my first semester of my doctoral studies in Transdisciplinary Sustainability. I began just as eager as I was for my master’s degree, but this time I try to turn around my imposter syndrome, something I learned the hard way.
- We are continually learning. Feeling a little uncomfortable right now is normal. We are in school to learn, so do not feel like you need to be the expert right away.
- University is a place of knowledge circulation, and as graduate students of different levels we are a part of this cycle. The cycle would not exist without knowledge sharing. Network, build trust, and do not be afraid to speak about your knowledge. Be a part of the university as you learn!
- Stop setting impossible goals. Do not strive for perfect on every, single assignment. This is not undergraduate courses where you summarize course content for an essay. We need to engage with the readings in our papers, and it is an opportunity to find your writing style. Feedback and a 75-85% is good! Take the feedback and compliment it to your research or take the opportunity to pivot ideas.
- Always look back at how far you’ve come when you feel yourself starting to lose confidence.
- Take a break, and don’t feel guilty. Remind yourself how far you have come; remind yourself you are doing your best. Do not think you are behind in life; look how far you have come. Take a break. It was the best thing I have done for my academic career!
Challenging imposter syndrome starts with remembering how far you’ve come. Use that to push yourself to achieve your potential, and let’s support each other to beat our imposter syndrome together.
I cannot wait to share more next semester!
~Sara